Well, today is my Mom's birthday. She would have been 54 today. It's weird because she was born in 1954 and she would have been 54. It's strange all the connections we make to our loved ones who have died. It seems I can make any day of the year tie to her somehow. This has been a rough year as I navigate my grief. Not only do I have all these wonderful things happening in my life, it is the year that I "outlive" her. She never knew what it was like to be 32 years 4 months and 7 days old. I do. And, although I feel fortunate for that, I also feel like I'm on borrowed time. I just wish she could have been around to see my little girl and my two new ones. She would have been so excited if I was able to call her the other day to tell her Sophia got her first tooth. She probably would have reminisced about my first tooth. Reminiscing. That's something that is sorely missing because of her absence. I hope to chronicle every little thing that happens in my babies' lives so that they can know how much they were loved by me when I'm gone. Hopefully not for another 50 years and homemade DVD's will be obsolete. They'll probably have to call Bill to borrow his completely outdated DVD player which I'm sure he'll still have hooked up. Thanks, Bill. We always knew your obsession with gadgets and wires would come in handy... Anyhoo, I'm heading off to Camp with Stepping Stones of Hope tomorrow to help some youngsters with their own grief. I hope I can pull myself together to help these children with their own grief. Till next time - Marla
Thursday, April 24, 2008
A Missing Piece
Well, today is my Mom's birthday. She would have been 54 today. It's weird because she was born in 1954 and she would have been 54. It's strange all the connections we make to our loved ones who have died. It seems I can make any day of the year tie to her somehow. This has been a rough year as I navigate my grief. Not only do I have all these wonderful things happening in my life, it is the year that I "outlive" her. She never knew what it was like to be 32 years 4 months and 7 days old. I do. And, although I feel fortunate for that, I also feel like I'm on borrowed time. I just wish she could have been around to see my little girl and my two new ones. She would have been so excited if I was able to call her the other day to tell her Sophia got her first tooth. She probably would have reminisced about my first tooth. Reminiscing. That's something that is sorely missing because of her absence. I hope to chronicle every little thing that happens in my babies' lives so that they can know how much they were loved by me when I'm gone. Hopefully not for another 50 years and homemade DVD's will be obsolete. They'll probably have to call Bill to borrow his completely outdated DVD player which I'm sure he'll still have hooked up. Thanks, Bill. We always knew your obsession with gadgets and wires would come in handy... Anyhoo, I'm heading off to Camp with Stepping Stones of Hope tomorrow to help some youngsters with their own grief. I hope I can pull myself together to help these children with their own grief. Till next time - Marla
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12 comments:
Hey Marls,
Cool blog Yo! Why isn't Cesar Millan's website one of your favorites?! Don't you like dogs?! Is Cesar too cool for you?! Oh, that's right. You already ARE the "pack leader." Bye.
I'm sure your mom would be very proud of you and what an amazing woman you are. Your strength touches many, many lives...including mine. I love you!
Am I the only one who's got interesting comments to make?! William, Amber, and Blower better step up! You people too busy? I'm busy too...I have a jigsaw puzzle to complete, a magazine to finish, and I'd like to put 10-20 stitches in my crosstitch AND the dishes are dirty. Hectic, I know. And Cathy, well...we don't expect much from you because Marla bosses you around all day and you probably don't feel like even seeing her face at the end of the day:)Gotta go...got some phone calls to not return.
Words of inpiration for my dear friends:
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk ahead of me, I may not follow. Don't walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
Quote of the day:
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
I'm impressed! Your blogspot kicks arse. And your pic cracks me up
Sorry it took so long to blog. I was fixing the BetaMax (top loader, you know, you just can't just let a piece of technology like that wither away).
I just took the time to read what has been going on with you. Wow! That is all I can say and sorry I have been stuck in my head. You are so witty. I knew their was a reason I was drawn to you. It was just the motherless thing that introduced us. By the way you look alot like your mother. Very pretty lady. Hope to talk with you soon.
Miss Kris said it. You already know how amazing I think you are. But, I will remind you anyhow. When I met you..oh..well, after you put me in my place, you were finishing up your first round of school and I thought "she is really driven". You not only stuck it out in the toughest program (Jiggity Waitress), but you loved what you did. You were committed to this woman's life and her challenging needs. Moving on to your Masters, your job with Hacienda, and now a family of five! Although I sometimes envy you, I know you. I know your heart and where (some of) your struggles and demons lie, testing you and your strength. Yet, you do it. You live your life every day with determination. Your mom is with you, lady. She's there.
Oh and (sorry to blantantly use your personal blog but you know how lazy I am about keeping in touch)
-HI MISS KRIS!
-Hey there Jimny Cricket! You are pregnant!! (in case you didn't see that)
-Bill- miss you
Love to you all!
OK, now that I have finally worked out all my technology issues and am FINALLY "on line" so to speak I will address the lovely call out from Kris! Busy doesn't begin to describe things around this place, but I always have time for good friends! What can I say that Marla doesn't already know? She OF COURSE is an amazing person who ANY MOM would be proud of especially her own! She touches every life she comes in contact with whether with her sarcasm or her compassion! Either way my in laws love her to death even though they had such a brief encounter with them this weekend! She is inspiring with her strength and I value her advice more than any of my friends. I guess that comes from being friends for 17 years. =)Marla you are an amazing friend and person, you always have been and you always will be. I am very fortunate to be friends with you for so long! (Thank God I keep making the cut!) =)I love you and look forward to a time when I can fly out a see your gaggle of children!
Hey Rach! Is that what it is? I thought I ate some bad sushi and was having an allergic rection! Thank God it's nothing serious! Hope you are well! =)
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